To Mr Prakash KaratGeneral SecretaryCommunist Party of India (Marxist) Comrade, First, let me congratulate you on building such a buzzing business wing of the CPM in Kerala. Within a few years, the Party has been able to diversify into fields as diverse as real estate and media. To say the least, the leadership in Kerala has been truly visionary. The Party is now probably the state's biggest business house and could soon be one of the largest in the country. That's where I would like to offer my services. I have even chalked out some models tailormade for exactly the kind of businesses your Party runs in God's Own Country. Comrade, the Munnar business model was awe-inspiring. Grab government land, construct buildings, run party offices on the ground floor, and run resorts on the upper storeys. I am sure you, and your friends in the CPI, got the idea from the builders of Delhi. But unfortunately, the business leadership was found wanting at some critical junctures. The entire business has turned out to be a huge PR disaster for the Party. It also doesn't help to have a chief minister whose mind and heart are steeped in ideals one could call fashionable for the Sixties and Seventies, but definitely not this century. It also doesn't help to have officers and bureaucrats who believe government land belongs to who else, the government! But as they say all is well that ends well. The chief minister has given up, and all that government land encroached upon by builders and the Party is theirs for keeping. But let me stress there is immense opportunity in this sector. To start with, we (please allow me the liberty, I already feel like a part of this big, booming business) should resume our encroachment operations. We could even bring in experts from the badlands of Uttar Pradesh, and consult Congress and BJP leaders in Delhi and Maharashtra, who have perfected this art. There is no time to be lost. After all, we have won only a term of five years, and the way things are turning out, we might not be re-elected the next time elections are held. Time is precious, we should make full use of it. Next we should seriously consider merging all our real estate businesses into one company (M&A is the buzzword now, and why should we be left behind), and then list it on the stock exchange. The most important principle of business, I am sure you are well aware of it, is to do business not with own money, but with public's money. I would like to bring to your notice the recent successful listings of DLF, HDIL and Sobha Developers in this regard. The interest rates are expected to fall sometime soon, and we should go for the kill. If you are worried about brand dilution, let me assure you the parent companies, the CPM and CPI, need not be merged. The business of politics is after all different from the politics of business. Coming to the Party's media business, I must say I am impressed. Its television network now reaches the US, Europe, and the Gulf. And it offers three channels. But it's the print business that worries me. The entire top brass at Desabhimani needs to be sacked. Just imagine, one of them took money, Rs 1,00,00,000 to be exact to the last zero, to help a chit fund company facing a probe. I am not faulting him for taking bribe, who doesn't do it? But look at his galls, admitting having taken money in public. He might have been sacked, but he has done irreparable damage to our image. Now, who will trust us and give us money? The daily also took Rs 2 crore from a lottery baron, against whom the CM was running a campaign. Look now what has happened. We have had to return the money, and also pay interest to show we are a bunch of honest blokes doing business. All this was entirely avoidable. Here is where a professional like me will come to picture. Talking about me, I stay in Sainik Farm, the largest illegal colony of Delhi, and perhaps India, which is now legalised. That's one good thing about this country, you encroach land, wait for some time and it becomes yours, legally. I have another house in a posh colony where there are some 10 air-conditioners, but my electricity bill never crosses Rs 2,000. There are others who pay for their electricity, and in doing so pay for mine too. Their honesty pays, for me. If these are not proof enough of my credentials, I am sending my resume with this mail. Please take a look. Lal Salaam RK RESUME RK R/O Sainik Farm Delhi Phone: 25 10 1917 (This isn't a coincidence) Experience: Owned and managed a fleet of 5 Redline buses in Delhi. Once the colours were changed to Blue, I quit. Nothing, but Red for me. (My experience will come handy while revamping the Kerala State Road Transport Corporation) Shareholder in Vaastu Properties, an infrastructure company dealing in flats, bungalows and jhuggi-jhopdis (Have some landholdings in Munnar, but no shares in Tata Tea) Stayed in the Gulf for some time. Arranged luxury cars for Bollywood stars (Benami trade, no questions asked, no tax paid) Languages Known: Hindi, English, Malayalam, Bengali (in the process of learning) Marital Status: Married (If you don't want me, you can appoint my wife. You would have done your bit for women's empowerment)