Desperate Haryana grooms resort to importing brides

BEST BUY BRIDES: Srija, originally from Kerala, was married 2 years ago and now speaks perfect Haryanvi.

    

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New Delhi: For the men in Haryana, chickens have come home to roost. It is marriage time and brides are in short supply. There are just no eligible girls in Haryana. The only option is to bring in brides from far away.

Asha Malik from Orissa is one such faraway bride.

“Waha pe shaadi ke liye paise mangte hai. 50-60,000 mangte hai. Wahan toh gareebi thi na, paise kaha se latey (Back home they ask for 50-60,000 rupees as dowry. How could we afford that)? “ Asha says.

For Asha marrying in Haryana was her only escape from the poorer Orissa.

“Gareeb ki shaadi nahi hoti yahan isileye toh who doosre desh main shaadi karte hain. Yahan pe zada ladka hai isiliye woh Bihar aur UP main shaadi karte hain (The poor find it hard to marry here. There are more men here. So they have to go to Bihar and UP to finds brides),” Asha adds.

The poor, landless and labourers are now traveling more than three thousand kilometers from Karnal to Kannur in Kerela in search of a suitable bride.Like Srija, who married Bhirbal Singh of Sorkhi village two years ago. This Kerala girl now speaks perfect Haryanvi.

“Mere gaon ki ek ladki hai, usse saat saal ho gaye aaye. Woh jab aayi toh usne kaha ki tera Haryana mein shaadi karvaungi. Woj mera photo le kar aayi aur inhe de diya aur unka photo mere paas bhej diya (A girl from my village had got married here seven years ago. She said she’d get me married here. So she exchanged our photographs),” Srija recalls.

Srija has not only leant to cover her head but also make that perfect roti.

“Kerala main sari pehente hain. Suit pehenne par sir par kapda nahi dalte Adat dalna pada. Pani bharne bahaar jana padta aur bahoot dikkat hoti hai (In Kerala we wear saris and we don't cover our head. It was hard to get into the habit. Here, we have to go out to fetch water. It is very difficult),” Sirja says.

She admits that her first few months here were not easy.

“Kerala ki kisi bhi ladki ko yeh pasand nahi ki bathroom bahar jaana pare. Road pe jo log yahan jaate hai woh pasand nahi (Kerala girls don’t like the fact that here the bathrooms are outside. No one wants to go in the open),” Sirja says explaining the difficulties faces by Keralite brides in Haryana.

The maximum number of outsourced brides in village Sorkhi are from Kerala. When one woman gets married into the village she works as a marriage fixer for others and the trend continues.

The first bride from Kerala arrived seven years back and now the village has more than eight brides from Kerala. Some of the marriages are as recent as two months back.

A few houses away from Srija, lives Omna, who is also from Kerala. Omna's husband works at a local bakery. He’s too poor to demand dowry or to see her horoscope. A year later Omna still manages very little conversation. She is yet another Kerala girl lost in translation.

“First I said no to the marriage, because it's too far. But Srija kept pestering me. She said people of Haryana are nice,” Omna says.