Masand's verdict: Don, such a con

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Rajdeep Sardesai

26/11: Terror comes precariously close

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If it's not the characters, it's the over-the-top action like that ridiculous scene where Priyanka Chopra air-lifts an entire ambulance to kidnap Don from police clutches. You know there's no problem at all with a little self-pampering, but Farhan Akhtar really tests your patience with this enterprise that is all style and little substance.

To point out the basic and most vital flaw in Farhan's film, I must refer to the original picture. Amitabh Bachchan oozed believability as the title character because he could separate Don from simpleton Vijay based on the strength of his personality, his commanding screen presence and, most importantly, his remarkable acting skills.

But in Farhan's film, there's little difference between Shah Rukh as Don and Shah Rukh as Vijay. Moreover, in the film's early portions when he's establishing Shah Rukh as the feared mafia ganglord, the actor plays the part with a touch of camp - with flair and flourish, thus reducing the part to an odd caricature instead of investing in it a menacing threat that he was probably trying to convey.

Spiffily shot and stylishly packaged, the new Don may wear a new look, but what it's clearly lacking is the raw energy, the unpredictability of Chandra Barot's original thriller.

Which brings us to the two songs, Farhan's nod to the earlier film. Kareena Kapoor's Yeh mera dil pyaar ka diwana is no match at all for Helen's sensuous original jig, although Shah Rukh does somewhat save the day with Khaike paan banaraswala to which he brings his own unique style, which is arresting to say the least.

In the end, what you remember of Don as you leave the cinema is how long and how tedious the film is. You know, I've always believed that one may be willing to forgive a film several faults - bad acting, poor production values, even a weak script. But when a film bores you to death, to the extent that you're looking at your watch every few minutes, then that's pretty much it.

At a running time of close to three hours, it's an exercise in indulgence, evidently even the film's editor was so bored he fell asleep watching the film instead of chopping it down considerably.

And now to be fair to Farhan and his team, I agree there's nothing more thrilling than watching the new generation of actors pay tribute to the older set by remaking their golden classics and uttering those immortal lines all over again. Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai - I think I broke into a spontaneous applause as did several others in the cinema, when Shah Rukh appeared on screen and said that line for the first time in the film. But dude, what is this film?

This is hardly a remake.

It's Farhan Akhtar taking the plot of Don and then adding to it his favourite scenes from Kill Bill, Mission Impossible 2 and all the James Bond films.

So, then that's a thumbs down for Farhan Akhtar's Don. You know, even though I didn't pay to see the film, I'd still like my money back. To paraphrase that line of dialogue from the film: Iss naye Don ko jhelna mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.

Rating: (Poor)