Masand's Verdict: Shakalaka Boom Boom

HEADED FOR DOOM: Kangana Ranaut simpers and whimpers in and out of scenes.

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Rajdeep Sardesai

26/11: Terror comes precariously close

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Cast: Bobby Deol, Upen Patel, Kangana Ranaut, Celina Jaitley

Direction: Suneel Darshan

I can safely say you've never seen a film like this before, I'm talking about this week's new Bollywood release, director Suneel Darshan's Shakalaka Boom Boom in which Bobby Deol plays an insecure pop-star who refuses to come to terms with the fact that there's a new kid on the block who's all set to steal his thunder.

Not only does Bobby find himself professionally threatened by up-and-comer Upen Patel, he also loses his dreamgirl Kangana Ranaut to the rising star.

Determined not to give up his top spot, Bobby befriends Upen instead, volunteers to produce his album, then sabotages it when it hits the market.

As yet unaware of Bobby's act of treachery, Upen once again accepts Bobby's helping hand in producing his next album.

Hot-headed and immature, Upen refuses to pay heed to his father's advice, warning him against the perils of over-ambition, and he also dismisses his girlfriend Kangana's caution against Bobby.

It's an ambition-meets-ambition drama, which director Suneel Darshan delivers with his over-the-top sensibilities and his trademark 80s-style storytelling.

Now it's clear Shakalaka Boom Boom is inspired generously from Milos Forman's classic film Amadeus, in which envious court composer Antonio Salieri becomes obsessed with defeating Mozart.

But director Suneel Darshan's film is unique because it doesn't seem to think that a script requires logic, reason or common sense.

How else do you explain the two-dozen or so holes in the plot? Let's just tackle a few - Why shoot in South Africa but pretend that the film is set in New York?

Why does Upen need archrival Bobby to produce his album if he's such a talented newcomer?

When Bobby sabotages Upen's album, is the owner of the music company sleeping through it all? Why does Bobby set his music room on fire after stealing Upen's original compositions?

None of these questions are answered in the film, and what's more these aren't the only problems with the writing.

The film's dialogue, credited to Anurag Kashyap, is so clunky, you're surprised the actors don't burst out laughing while they're delivering such idiotic lines, because you sure do when you hear them.